holistic healing techniques for grief loss sadness
Question: What are best practices for living through deep loss? both my parents died this year and my mother's parting is most stunning for me. I feel untethered....
Answer: Having two members of your family pass on in the same year is a large life challenge to get through, especially when it is two parents. My many sympathies on your loss.
To work through this, the first step is to slowly come around to the knowledge that it is not a loss, it is a change. They are both still here with you, just in spirit form now.
Your grief and sadness right now is completely understandable. Allow yourself time to mourn. Our society doesn't have a strong system for mourning in place, and it is common for people who have undergone a loss to suppress their emotions and try to "get on with their life".
Allow yourself to forgo the "mask" of everything being all right. It is o.k. to fall apart! Just make sure you gather your close friends and loved ones around to help you through this time.
When you are ready, start to integrate some of these steps into your healing process:
1) It is my belief that we choose who our family will be before we enter into this incarnation. Souls have different life lessons, and souls that are connected through a family unit have strong lessons to share with one another.
Think about the connections between you and your parents. What are the strongest life lessons you associate with them? Honor those lessons and take steps to move your life in the direction that those lessons guide you to. This will help you to move through the mourning phase and into the next phase of your life.
2) Spend time with family and close friends that are still in your life. Cherish the moments that you have with them. Take your relationships with them to new levels of depth and emotion.
This will allow you to forge forward in life with the connections that are still here experiencing the "world experience".
3) Your mother and father have completed their soul journey for this life, but that doesn't mean they no longer interact with you. Many people experience dreams with loved ones who have passed over. Many also feel their touch in their daily lives. It can be a smell, or a memory, or even their presence in a room.
They are now able to guide you from the next realm. If you are comfortable with it, seek out a connection with them. Find a quiet place and time and internally ask them to continue to be present in your life. Ask them for guidance on the questions you are struggling with.
You can get answers back in the form of voices in your mind (Sounds crazy but it's really not. Spirit guides communicate very effectively this way.), by seeing something in your daily life that reminds you of them, or through the dream state. This will help you to continue to have a relationship with them, even though they are no longer here physically.
4)It feels as though you are floating right now. Parental energies are very grounding. They can represent pillars in our world, even after we are adults and have our own children.
Tap into grounding energies in your life. This will help you to move past the feeling of being "untethered".
Here are two pages with many techniques that can help:
root chakra balancing
Also, listening to healing and balancing music can help, as well as holding root chakra crystals.
I lost my father one year ago, and I understand what it is to have that pillar gone. His presence is still with me though. I allowed myself to grieve, then I allowed myself to spend a lot of time thinking of memories of him, now I am in the process of moving forward with my life again.
This same mourning phase will occur for you as well. Give it time, be gentle with yourself, don't let others force you to move forward before it feels right, and give yourself the opportunity to think of him.
My father's passion in life was books and writing. After his passing, I read many of his favorite books as a way to remember him and reconnect with his energy. I would run across pages of the books where he had written notes in the margins and it was like he was right there with me at the moment. There were lots of tears, and lots of smiles as I went through memories of him in my life.
Go through your parent's possessions and connect with the items that were valuable to them. If your mother loved to cook, use her pots and pans, recreate her favorite recipes, search through her recipe books. If your father loved to do woodworking, touch his tools, try a woodworking project of your own using his supplies and tools.
You will be amazed at how cathartic and healing this last technique will be. Try it out and then please come back here and share with others how it worked out for you.
Many blessings to you. You will get through this, you will grow, you will evolve, and you will get to the point where you are no longer grieving but are instead cherishing the memories you hold.
You will also get to the point where you are connecting with them from a new reality other than the physical plane. That is when you will realize you still have them in your life, it's just changed outer form.
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